{#DeliriumWeek} Team Wars: Team Alex or Team Julian?

Friday, April 19, 2013

I'd like to thank those who participated in the Team Wars. You don't know how happy you girls made me. I really appreciate you making the effort to answer my survey. Thank you so much!

So here goes the Team Wars: Delirium Edition! Are you on Team Alex? Team Julian? Can't decide? Get help from these three ladies!

Team Alex
"Alex is a fierce man that I would always love. I admit that in Pandemonium I was in love with Julian, but when I read Requiem, I had never felt more pain ever since he shares his struggles in the Crypts. Even though he almost faced death, his mind always strikes on Lena which gives him the strength to live. " - Leslie @ bibliophilekid
" He risked his life to save Lena! He endured torture, loss, and abuse just to see her free. Julian is nice, too, but I think Alex is right for her. He understands her in a way that Julian doesn't." - Suri @ Oh! Paper Pages

Team Julian
"JULIAN IS AWESOME, OKAY? He's sweet, kind and cautious, which, for me, is a better match for Lena's fiery and fearless attitude. They balance each other out!" - Alyana @ Read, Breathe, Read 

Thank you girls for being so enthusiastic for your teams! I guess I should take this opportunity to ponder and ultimately, air out, why I'm on Team Julian (for now). I keep saying for now because I haven't read Requiem *dodges knives* and having read Leslie's pitch for Team Alex, I'm afraid I might end up shifting sides. I don't want to, I really don't want, I love Julian, but if Alex pulls it, I might. So anyway, I think the Team Wars are all done and I'll just be here, babbling about my ship but you're free to stick around and read.

There is no doubt that Alex and Lena loved each other in Delirium and I still think they still love each other in Pandemonium. Alex was Lena's first, the one who woke her up from all the lies and showed her the light. Alex was not just a boyfriend, a lover. He was a teacher, a mentor. He introduced her to poetry, to fairytales, righted all of her misconceptions. I don't think he taught her how to love though. I think he taught her that loving was normal, that there's nothing wrong with love. Lena has always loved Grace, has always loved Hana and has always loved her mother. She might not say it but when you unconditionally care about a person, without weighing risks or returns, I think that's love. I think Alex made her realize that love is a wondrous thing and that it's not a disease. I think that's Alex's greatest gift to Lena.

Alex is swoonworthy of course. I admit being reduced to a pile of goo and mush with him reciting poems to Lena. Who wouldn't? I can't remember the specific scenes but I do remember that Alex did made my heart pitter-patter with his gestures and acts. So why I'm on Team Julian then?

I think this is unfair for Alex but I knew of the TV pilot being filmed first before reading Delirium. While Daren Kagasoff is undeniably gorgeous and hot (so hot. really REALLY hot. sizzling hot) and he's even handsomer and hotter than Gregg Sulkin, I love Gregg Sulkin. And with Gregg Sulkin acting as Julian, I think I was predisposed to like Julian right from the start. I know that's so bad of me but "you can't tell me what to feel" as Raven and Lena said in Pandemonium. Oh my, am I turning into a quoting machine? Haha! Anyway, I was itching to meet and get to know Julian when I was reading Delirium. I think that's bad. I think's that's truly a sign that I'm not for Team Alex. Because while being accosted by all big acts of love from Alex, there I was, yearning for someone I don't know.

So my reason for not being Team Alex might be superficial so I'll try justifying it. I love first-love stories, I really do, but I like second chances more. Alex was Lena's first great love and while I do not contest that Lena loved Alex and not the idea of just being in love, Julian appealed to me more because he was her second. She was badly scarred and she could have closed off her heart forever but she loved again, with Julian. While some people might think that Julian could have been her rebound or that she just has a Messiah complex, I could say the same with Alex. Alex was Lena's savior, in the literal and in the figurative sense. He saved her at Deering Highlands and meh, but how convenient was that. Why was he even there? Lena was a strong girl but she was also a damsel in distress much of Delirium, with Alex saving her ALL THE TIME. But in Pandemonium, Lena saved Julian and Julian also saved Lena. And even though the ending was quite (really) convenient, Lena saved Julian again. Moreover, Julian not only saved Lena from danger but he also saved her from herself. Julian made it possible for Lena to open up and love again. Lena connected with Julian and even told him things she never told Alex. She felt like she can tell him anything and that's what love got to be. Love should be being able to be yourself.

I said in my Delirium review that Lena and Alex's relationship kind of sprouted from nowhere for me. Well, apparently, compared to Lena and Julian's, theirs wasn't that left-field. But how did Lena and Alex fall in love? Alex's reason, of him seeing Lena and feeling like she was awake when everybody was asleep, was really touching and dolphin-squeak-inducing. But why did Lena love Alex? He made her feel special, made her feel beautiful, when she didn't think she was. I think that's good but I prefer my heroines loving themselves first before loving others. That way, they don't fall in love just because they were paid attention. And Alex was different, everything she was taught was wrong. We tend to be fascinated with things that are bad, that are not allowed. I felt like that was what Alex was, the obvious choice. And so, I think it was natural for her to fall for Alex. But with Julian, she crossed the boundary and loved him even though she knew better than to fall in love with the "enemy". Of course he wasn't the enemy but you see? Her nature was to move as far away as possible from Julian and she tried to build walls but Julian and Lena broke those walls. (I did feel that everything went fast. Was it the adrenaline? Or being under duress?)

Sure, the same could be said about Julian in that Lena was his first, first girl she interacted with, even the first person of his age that he interacted with. His love for Lena might be questioned in that front and on an objective day, I might not even consider it love. His line "I want to know. I want to know with you." summarizes that. He doesn't know what love is, doesn't even feel it from his parents. He wants to know what love is. And he wants to know it with Lena. And in this case, Lena feels like the adult in the relationship. I guess it just sits well with me more that Lena's the one who woke Julian, compared with Alex waking Lena up.

Of course I'm not naive and I know Lena will not love Julian as much as she loved Alex. Alex was her first. And of course, she hasn't completely moved on and she's still in love with Alex. Another reason why I ship Julian is because I love underdogs. Julian and Lena might be physically together but she's with Alex emotionally. I almost always root for the second lead even if it breaks my heart. I pity them and I just wish I can scoop them up and save them from heartbreak because I love them and will be with them in a heartbeat. Sigh, me and my love for fictional characters. So I can feel that my heart's in it for a breaking but I can't help but still want Julian. I love torturing myself. Sigh.

Sigh, I don't think I can fully explain why. I mean, how do you exactly explain feelings? Love's supposed to be irrational and illogical, right? /excuses

So for now, I am on Team Julian. I want to see them interact more and I want them to get to know each other. If he's not end game (which is most likely), it will break my heart but I am also thankful that I get to know him. I do know Daren Kagasoff fits Alex to a T, except maybe for the hair (which looks brown in some pics, I'm so confused) but I can really imagine him as Alex and that Gregg Sulkin is in no way similar to Julian but it's my little baby Gregg Sulkin! Yes, he's older than me but I just like seeing them grow up and get famous and all. Hope the Delirium fandom will love him too! And yeap, Gregg Sulkin is short while Julian is tall and he's not blonde and his eyes are not blue but WHATEVER, I think he and Emma Roberts will look cute. But I do admit Daren Kagasoff and Emma Roberts is one sizzling couple. Aaaaaaaaa, if only Gregg Sulkin is not my baby I might ship Alex and Lena in the show because Daren *fans self*. Hahaha!

Thank you for bearing with my babbling. Heh. Feel free though to share your thoughts! :) I'll end this post with this:

"“I wonder if this is how people always get close: They heal each other's wounds; they repair the broken skin.”

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